I am a happy camper. Unless you do one of the following:

• Cheat on a quiz and/or test. And do better than me.
• Say, "that's so gay!" or "that's so retarded!" I will yell at and hit you.
• Don't challenge yourself in school.
• Get into exclusive clubs without doing anything special.
• Are a teacher that obviously should not be a teacher. (Don't worry, Mrs. Cardona, you definitely should be a teacher.)
• Don't do you homework, and ask me incessantly for answers. 
• Obsess over brand names. I can assure you that even though you are wearing a Vera Bradley backpack, it was still probably made in a sweat shop that makes Jansport backpacks.
• Are in a group project with me and don't do shit. (Sorry, language. But this could be one of my top pet peeves.)
• Are a smelly bathroom.
• Are a teacher that doesn't let me pee, eat, or drink in class.
• Eat my food that I was obviously going to eat.
• Don't trust me to make good choices.
• Don't let me drive my car at night.
• Don't let me listen to the radio while driving.
• Buy a bunch of junk food and don't except me to eat it.
• Praise athletics more than academics. *****WAYZATA*****
• Manipulate children into thinking that candy is minutely nutritious. It's not. 
• Act like a FOB.
• Say, "you have no idea," when I actually do, because I am going through the same thing as you.
• Rub your nails against a bed comforter. (Quilts are OK, but not any other sheet.)
• Are flat on a note. I can relatively handle sharp. But NOT being flat. I will make faces at you until you are not flat anymore.
• You eat crap and still are thin. C'MON, MAN.
• You don't try at all, but still get better grades than me.
• Are a 10th grade history teacher that teaches students that Hindus believe in over 1,000 different Gods. ...We don't. I will personally explain this to you if you want me to.

I'm a happy person.