I like coconut.
A lot.
If you give me that, I'll like you a lot.
I don't know what it is about coconut, but I've become obsessed. Last year, I discovered my addiction to Chewy bars was because there was coconut in it. I literally ate 10 Chewy bars in one day. But then I finally had a Chewy bar intervention, and made my mother stop buying them.
Then I met Almond Joys.*
My mother had boughten a huge pack of them to give to children (what child actually liked Almond Joys?) as little gifts** for when they came over for the Indian festival, Navaraatri. They were just sitting on the dining room table. I was having a chocolate craving, and decided to eat an Almond Joy, because I figured that I wouldn't like it, and would therefore only eat one peace of candy.
Wrong.
I ate 13***.
UM.
Now I can't stop eating them. People are literally giving me their Almond Joys from Halloween, and I am in coconut heaven.
I'm not exactly sure what it is about coconut that I love so much. IT'S JUST SO GOOD. It's sugary, but not too sugary, and has a texture that is heaven, and is just so ?&$^!@# **** GOOD.
And there are nuts. Nuts are good. Nuts are in Almond Joys. Therefore, Almond Joys are good. (This is not a logical fallacy. This is TRUTH.)
I don't understand why everybody seems to hate Almond Joys. What did chocolate mixed with coconut mixed with almonds ever do to you, other than try to taste delicious? But whatever, more of them for me.
So, if you like me (or even if you don't), and you want to get rid of your Almond Joys, GIVE ME THEM.
I <3 COCONUT.*****
* Almond Joys have coconut in them, if it wasn't already inferred.
** There were more than just Almond Joys as choices for candy. My mother isn't that oblivious to what children actually enjoy.
*** Ok, so, this entire post probably seems hypocritical to you if you read my mock proposal essay. BUT THIS IS MY POINT. If there was no candy, I wouldn't be addicted to Almond Joys, and I wouldn't have pounds of overly processed coconut (fat) mixed with trans fat (yay, more fat) in my body! AH.
**** There's a lot of words that could fit into those 7 symbols. It's the F word.
***** Just thought I'd let you know that I have said the word "coconut" 8 times. (Not including this sentence.)
I can always hear your voice on your blog. You give it personality and energy. I like how you made sense of your post at the bottom, espeically the "It's the F word" part. It was blunt and made me laugh. I also really like learning more about people through their blogs. I'll forever think of you when I see an Almond Joy.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Taylor, I can always imagine you actually saying what you write in your blog posts, and I always end up laughing!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I was that kid who liked Almond Joys. I TOTALLY agree with you about the amazing-ness of coconut! Why doesn't everyone like it? They sell it in bulk at Lakewinds and it is the best addition to a snack ever!
Thanks, girls! I actually love blogging. (I'm on Blogger from my phone. Winning.)
ReplyDelete